Raising Obedient Children

Many a time we are reminded about the significance of the proper treatment of parents.  Undoubtedly, it is the duty of children to treat their parents with utmost respect and kindness.  It is the duty of children to be obedient to their parents as long as the parents’ expectations originate from and remain within the boundaries of Islam. 

            Children learn about obedience and respect, like everything else, from their environments, which include their parents.  For children to be obedient to their parents, it is important for the parents to teach their children to be obedient.  In simpler words, if parents expect to be obeyed by their children, they must teach their children how to be obedient. 

            Unfortunately, as many of us have most probably observed, many parents do not apply the most favourable methods in educating their children about obedience; either they are too strict on their children or too soft on them; either they place them in metaphorical prisons or completely abandon disciplining them.  The former method cultivates the rebellious nature of humans in those imprisoned children, and conversely, the latter method gradually removes any form self-control and self-discipline from those neglected children.

           

            Upon reflecting on this issue, we begin to realize the importance of seeking prophetic teachings on how to raise our children, or more specifically how to make them obedient. 

            In this post, I will present an Authentic tradition, which provides a short concise guideline on how to train our children to be obedient to us. In addition, it warns us about three groups that will remain far away from paradise.

            Let us hope and pray for God-conscious and prosperous children.

Arabic Text:

عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ مَحْبُوبٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ رِبَاطٍ عَنْ يُونُسَ بْنِ رِبَاطٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص رَحِمَ اللَّهُ مَنْ أَعَانَ وَلَدَهُ عَلَى بِرِّهِ قَالَ قُلْتُ كَيْفَ يُعِينُهُ عَلَى بِرِّهِ قَالَ يَقْبَلُ مَيْسُورَهُ وَ يَتَجَاوَزُ عَنْ مَعْسُورِهِ وَ لَا يُرْهِقُهُ وَ لَا يَخْرَقُ بِهِ فَلَيْسَ بَيْنَهُ وَ بَيْنَ أَنْ يَصِيرَ فِي حَدٍّ مِنْ حُدُودِ الْكُفْرِ إِلَّا أَنْ يَدْخُلَ فِي عُقُوقٍ أَوْ قَطِيعَةِ رَحِمٍ ثُمَّ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص الْجَنَّةُ طَيِّبَةٌ طَيَّبَهَا اللَّهُ وَ طَيَّبَ رِيحَهَا يُوجَدُ رِيحُهَا مِنْ مَسِيرَةِ أَلْفَيْ عَامٍ وَ لَا يَجِدُ رِيحَ الْجَنَّةِ عَاقٌّ وَ لَا قَاطِعُ رَحِمٍ وَ لَا مُرْخِي الْإِزَارِ خُيَلَاءَ

English Translation:

Some of our companions have narrated from Ahmed ibn Muhammad from Al Hasan ibn Rebat from Younos ibn Rebat from Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him) who has said: the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:

“May Allah have mercy on whomever that encourages his son to obey him.”

I said: “How can he make him obey him?”

He said: “By accepting his good deeds and overlooking his bad, and not burdening him or scolding him; except when he trespasses the limits into disbelief by disobedience or cutting the ties of kinship.”

Then the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: “Paradise is good with a good scent as Allah created it to be good. Its good fragrance is smelled from a distance of two thousand years but it can't be smelled by neither the ungrateful son nor by the one who severs ties with his relatives nor by the one who arrogantly lets his lower wrapper touch the ground.”

Source:

Al-Kafi, Volume 6, Page 50, Tradition #6